Tag: dork
member name: Mike Ball
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April 06, 2007 04:26 PM EDT --
Yesterday my friend Clyde asked me, "Did you see American Idol the other night? Man, I thought for sure Traci was going to make it, but they got rid of her and kept that moron Todd. And then that . . .
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April 17, 2007 11:43 PM EDT --
Driving by the high school parking lot last week, I was struck by the fact that every vehicle sitting out there that could be clearly and easily distinguished from a pile of scrap metal. Most of them were . . .
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May 20, 2006 01:59 PM EDT --
First published April 29, 2005
I'm an excellent cook.
Ok, I'll admit it - saying that is a lot like Dustin Hoffman's character in Rain Man saying, "I'm an excellent driver." . . .
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May 26, 2006 05:15 PM EDT --
This column originally appeared in What I've Learned So Far...
Ok, I realize that I write a lot about the differences between men and women. That's because there are just so many differences, . . .
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January 21, 2007 06:48 PM EST --
My son and I recently went into a candle store to buy my wife a candle for a gift. On purpose. Just the two of us guys.
What could we have been thinking?
When I was a kid, there were two kinds of candles . . .
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May 09, 2007 11:06 AM EDT --
Springtime around here involves a number of rituals. There is the Baring Of Pasty White Skin I documented a few weeks ago. There is the Chipping Of Horrible Stuff From The Barbecue. There is the First . . .
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May 16, 2007 02:12 PM EDT --
I have a gig coming up. How cool is that?
For those of you who are not rock legends - or who have never watched a television show or a movie about rock legends – or who have been living on one of . . .
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May 23, 2007 11:13 AM EDT --
The Gig is finished. My throat has recovered to the extent that I can croak out whole sentences. I've polished most of the flop sweat off the guitars. I've collected my check. And through the whole . . .
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May 30, 2007 11:51 AM EDT --
Beep, beep, beep.
You wake up from a light, fitful sleep at 3 AM to the sounds of your heart monitor beeping and the semi-hushed voices of two nurses outside your room discussing household indiscretions . . .
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May 07, 2006 12:25 PM EDT --
First published February 10, 2006
Last week in this column we tackled the use of "blogs" by "Generation Y," or "Generation Z" or "Generation Shrek" or whatever . . .
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April 25, 2007 11:55 PM EDT --
Ok, the ice is gone from the lake. The mounds of grimy black snow that have been stacked on either side of the driveway since December have melted away. Crocuses and tulips are poking their heads out of . . .
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June 07, 2007 05:19 PM EDT --
I just got back from my weekly trip to Costco.
I borrowed a furniture dolly from a neighbor so I could haul my 200-roll Convenience Pack of toilet paper, my thirty pound Family Pack of chicken wings, . . .
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April 11, 2007 10:42 PM EDT --
It's April. Tax time. May heaven help us all.
Ok, I realize that not everyone is as freaked out about taxes as I am. In fact some people appear to actually enjoy this annual rite of calculating the . . .
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June 13, 2007 01:00 PM EDT --
You know, I'll bet writing a column like this one looks like a pretty easy job. All you have to do is ramble on for a while about whatever you think needs rambling on about, crank out some jokes, and . . .
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July 11, 2007 02:58 PM EDT --
Yesterday we were on a boat belonging to my new friend, Mike. It was one of those cool "wakeboard boats" with a big chrome tower on it - the latest in tow boat technology. This tower is designed . . .
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August 22, 2007 11:07 AM EDT --
Ever since my remote ancestor Oog Ball sat by the water in front of his cave and used his stone axe to hack a birch log into a 21 foot Mastercraft, my family has been involved with boats. Over many . . .
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October 11, 2007 12:01 AM EDT --
I was just sitting here looking at my wife's bottle of pomegranate-scented shampoo and wondering why any woman would want her hair to smell like pomegranate.
OK, I admit this is a sure sign that . . .
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October 18, 2007 07:41 PM EDT --
I’ve discovered something at least as addictive as caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, cocaine, heroin, or even Chex Mix ( the really good homemade kind, with way too much garlic salt). At this moment millions . . .
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October 25, 2007 10:51 AM EDT --
Last weekend was my wife's birthday, so I wanted to surprise her and make dinner. I thought long and hard about it, and I prepared the perfect menu for the occasion:
• Steak
• Beer
• . . .
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December 20, 2007 01:06 PM EST --
What do you suppose Paris Hilton wants for Christmas?
I recently read in the New York Post (sometimes I like to go slumming - what can I say?) that the girl who is Famous For Being Famous just wants . . .
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