Tag: wit
member name: Mike Ball
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May 28, 2008 03:20 PM EDT --
This morning before breakfast my wife lobbed a verbal grenade into my coffee cup. She asked, "What do you think of my friend, Brunhilde?"
(Please note, my wife doesn't actually have . . .
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December 20, 2007 01:06 PM EST --
What do you suppose Paris Hilton wants for Christmas?
I recently read in the New York Post (sometimes I like to go slumming - what can I say?) that the girl who is Famous For Being Famous just wants . . .
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July 11, 2007 02:58 PM EDT --
Yesterday we were on a boat belonging to my new friend, Mike. It was one of those cool "wakeboard boats" with a big chrome tower on it - the latest in tow boat technology. This tower is designed . . .
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August 08, 2007 01:18 PM EDT --
Not too long ago I saw a television commercial for what has to be one of the most important industrial breakthroughs in human history. Even though major advances of this sort are not really the focus of . . .
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October 11, 2007 12:01 AM EDT --
I was just sitting here looking at my wife's bottle of pomegranate-scented shampoo and wondering why any woman would want her hair to smell like pomegranate.
OK, I admit this is a sure sign that . . .
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October 18, 2007 07:41 PM EDT --
I’ve discovered something at least as addictive as caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, cocaine, heroin, or even Chex Mix ( the really good homemade kind, with way too much garlic salt). At this moment millions . . .
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February 28, 2008 08:22 PM EST --
All right everybody, it's time to toss Sis, Mom, Granny, Cousin Elmer, Emmy-Sue and the young-uns into the old Ford pickup, grab a couple of cases of Budweiser, scream "Yeeeeeee-Hah!" . . .
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May 01, 2008 10:46 AM EDT --
This afternoon my friend and I dropped into a friendly neighborhood tavern to grab some lunch and to watch the Detroit Red Wings CRUSH the Colorado Avalanche in the second round of the NHL playoffs. Now, . . .
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October 25, 2007 10:51 AM EDT --
Last weekend was my wife's birthday, so I wanted to surprise her and make dinner. I thought long and hard about it, and I prepared the perfect menu for the occasion:
• Steak
• Beer
• . . .
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February 21, 2008 03:02 PM EST --
As anyone who has been around me at all is aware, I play the guitar. I play it constantly, enthusiastically, and just well enough that I usually avoid being attacked by angry villagers with pitchforks. . . .
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March 19, 2008 01:19 PM EDT --
"Four lift tickets - two adult, two children. That will be $112.50."
"You don't understand," Dad explains patiently. "We're here on the Mount Feverblister Winter Sports . . .
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October 01, 2008 03:39 PM EDT --
Not too long ago I got my first real massage.
Ok guys, get all the stupid "Lucky Lotus Massage Parlor" and "Happy Ending" jokes out of your system. I'll wait.
Finished? . . .
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December 09, 2007 02:44 PM EST --
You know, I'm willing to bet that there's some guy in your neighborhood whose roof is literally sagging under the weight of a giant Santa, a small herd of reindeer, and a life-sized nativity scene . . .
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February 25, 2009 10:34 AM EST --
Hi. I'm Mike, and I'm a Facebookaholic.
I discovered Facebook not too long ago, at the suggestion of some of my creative writing students. "It's great," they would tell me, "you . . .
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April 01, 2009 10:20 PM EDT --
Not too long ago I asked my readers to write and tell me about the crappy things they have done over the years to make money. The idea here was that I would get you to do my own crappy job, and write . . .
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June 20, 2009 11:18 AM EDT --
Yesterday, one of my favorite people left our world behind.
Her name was Donna Lemon. She had a gentle voice, kind eyes, blue hair, and a sometimes unnervingly knowing smile. She also knew enough about . . .
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April 23, 2009 02:40 PM EDT --
Well, it's that time of year again. The ice dam in the driveway has been replaced by a glob of nearly composted leaves from last Autumn, I've extracted the last of the season's Slush . . .
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May 05, 2009 11:23 PM EDT --
Sunday is Mother's day. This is a holiday in which the men of America team up with their children to treat Mom to a sumptuous breakfast in bed, featuring chocolate chip waffles and grapefruit juice. . . .
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October 01, 2009 09:42 AM EDT --
I received a pretty unique voice mail the other day. According to the caller ID it was from a friend who likes to talk almost as much as I do, so I was not all that surprised to see that her message . . .
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August 22, 2007 11:07 AM EDT --
Ever since my remote ancestor Oog Ball sat by the water in front of his cave and used his stone axe to hack a birch log into a 21 foot Mastercraft, my family has been involved with boats. Over many . . .
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